GWAR

GWAR!

Alright, for those who don't know what Gwar is... they are a metal band.  If you don't know metal, you probably remember them from Empire Records (1995), from Mark's pot-brownie dream as the band that tries to eat him.  They are well known for their crazy get ups and characters.  In fact, their CD's and characters have followed a story line of sorts.  The story is something along the lines that they were outcast from their planet, and they are going around the universe conquering it. Earth is their current conquest.

I mentioned above they are metal; more specifically, they are Thrash Metal or Shock Punk.   The fact that they are "shock" should be no surprise when band members have names like "Jizmak da Gusha," and the lead vocalist is "Oderus Urungus" who stands on stage with his massive cuttlefish and broadsword.  By broadsword I mean broadsword.  By cuttlefish, I mean (fake prosthetic) dick.  All the stage hands, that occasionally run out, are wearing man thongs, and their songs and show are filled with jokingly offensive material.

Their concerts deserve the word "Show."  It's equal parts rocking out to thrash metal as it is watching a play.  The "play" consists of a massive amount of decapitation, mutilation, masturbation, and over all attempting to be "offensive."  And by "offensive," I mean its all in good fun.  Come on, its a band called Gwar that is coming out dressed up as aliens.

A big thing, that I forgot to do this year, is to come to the concert in a white shirt, because bodily fluids are constantly being shot into the crowd.  Generally its "blood" spurting from a decapitated body, but when the dead babies come out masturbation does occur.  All these fluids are actually dyes, hence the wearing a white shirt.  You go in, and you leave with a brand new Gwar-stained shirt.  Again, all in good fun.  A note: There are quite a few "Shock" bands that do fling actual bodily fluid or human excrement into the crowd...yeah, not for me...but this show is meant to be ridiculous and fun.

Anyways, onto my experience last night ...with pictures!

Here's the stage.  Yeah, that's a massive drum set.  There are also two podiums on either side of it.

At the end of the set up, a booming voice comes on and announces that its God, and the end days are upon us.  God is going to start by first killing Gwar, and then all of us in the audience.  To kill Gwar, God is going to unleash the nastiest, most horrendous, and despicable people upon Gwar to destroy them.

Gwar comes on stage, to find Romney and the 47%. Oderus (above) uses his sword to cuts the 47% head off, followed by spitting on Romney, and decapitating him as well.  In the picture is one of the beheaded guys spurting blood as Oderus sings.

First picture is Pustulus Maximus, who is actually the newest member.  Cory Smoot played Flattus Maximus (as in, Maximum Flatulence, caused by his diet of eating only Vegeterians) died of natural causes after being with the band for 9 years.  They retired his character, and brought in Pustulus Maximus.

Second Picture is Oderus Urungus.  I couldn't get upstairs, so I never got a good picture of his junk, but it is hilarious.  Next is Beefcake the Mighty, and in the last picture we also see Balsac, the Jaws of Death.  Again, due to not getting upstairs, as well as the massive drumset, I couldn't get a good picture of Jizmak da Gusha.

And some of the people sent to kill Gwar.  I don't know if they named the first guy or not, but after they disarm him, the guy stayed on stage and danced for much of the show. 

Hitler showed up.  They let Hitler defend his actions, in which Hitler just shouted a bunch of angry German at us.  Gwar's response was "Pretty sure you're an asshole," to which they then RIPPED OFF HIS FACE.  His eyes and brain popped out, and his tongue unrolled, and blood shot everywhere.  Unfortunately, the crowd went insane and I couldn't get a good picture of that.

Oh yeah, and bringing out the world's worst people isn't complete until you bring out a pope.  I love the picture I took, the entire silhoueted Rock sign as Oderus puts an axe straight into the pope's head...yeah, rock. They then tore his head, and it spurted blood everywhere.

After that God goes silent, and they decide to taunt God.  Not pictured is they sewed three dead babies together and played "ring around the posies" with them while Oderus masturbated.  Yeah, I purposefully didn't take pictures of that.

They then brought out Jesus, who is "like, the Son of God or some shit like that."  After crucifying him, they decide that was unoriginal, and tear him limb from limb, and flay him alive.  Again, the crowd went wild and taking a picture of that became impossible.  I had a picture of Jesus lower half body surfing, but it was impossible to see what was going on...but yeah.  It did happen.

God remains quiet for awhile, and they keep rocking out.  UNTIL...

God unleashes his ultimate weapon: Giant Cyborg Jesus.  They fight Giant Cyborg Jesus, and defeat him.  Which was just hilarious.

God then threatens to manifest in physical form and destroy them.  They look around, and wait.  He never shows, the green dude (I didn't catch his name) asks when God is going to show, to which Oderus laughs "Oh yeah, God doesn't even exist!"  And then they rock out a little more.

Obama came out and congratulated Gwar.  That was nice of him.  Gwar comes out and tells Obama that they are glad he kicked the shit out of Romney, but...  and they behead him as well.  There was a huge roar of cheer to the kicking the shit out of Romney line.  Obama's death was the crowd's least enjoyed slaughter, but they did just fight giant cyborg Jesus...so everything is in good fun.

And then they rocked out some more.

I did go into the moshpit.  It was manageable for the band prior, but once Gwar got on stage, so many people flooded into the room that it was hard to open up any space for a pit.  Even with that said, it was absolutely ridiculous show, hilarious, and fun.

And that was my experience at my first Gwar concert.  I look forward to the next time they come up, and that time I'll be sure to be wearing a white tee.

Babylon 5

Babylon 5:

I got into a sci-fi craze.  Specifically, the type of science fiction where humans have met other space faring races and are attempting to keep peace in the universe.  Generally this involves a tentative council between a few “Superior” races, which the humans are counted as, and a bunch of lesser races under the council’s protection, and then some outlying races that reside in the terminus, or dark space, or over-all outside the majority of the galaxy.  This can also include a fear of something great and mysterious, nearly God-like, beyond.  I was watching Star Trek (The Next Generation, and Enterprise, with plans to watch Deep Space Nine), while also playing Mass Effect 1 and 2 (I am currently on the 3rd one).  I also had a list of books I was, or still am, going to read that deal with these subjects as well when an awesome friend decided to loan me the Babylon 5 series.

Babylon 5 is a perfect example of this archetype of science fiction.  Babylon 5 started in 1994, 1 year after Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and aired for 5 seasons, along with multiple movies and a few short live spin-offs.  Babylon 5 is, as stated at the beginning of nearly every episode:

It was the dawn of the third age of mankind, ten years after the Earth/Minbari war. The Babylon Project was a dream given form. Its goal: to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully. It's a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs, and wanderers. Humans and aliens wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal, all alone in the night. It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last best hope for peace. This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2258. The name of the place is Babylon 5.

Basically, Babylon 5 is the hub of commerce and diplomacy between all the races.  Five races sit on a council, as well as a bunch of races in the “League of Non-Aligned Worlds.”  The five races are pretty stereotypical.  Humans are the youngest of the races, but they’ve shown to be both powerful as well as the most diplomatic; the Minbari, which I would compare to Vulcans from Star Trek or Asari from Mass Effect, in that the Minbari are incredibly intelligent and pragmatic, yet have a strong sense of faith; the Narn is an aggressive, and monstrous in appearance race, but not savages as they have a strong warrior honor code (Klingons or Krogans); the Centauri are an imperialistic and dominating society that dress like they are from the 18th century (Kardashians is the race most akin that comes to my mind easily from the Star Trek universe, and Turians from Mass Effect); and then the Vorlons, which are such a mysterious race that they constantly wear environmental suits (which just look sweet) so that no-one can see what they look like (Quarians from Mass Effect, albeit the godlike presence of the Q of Star Trek is a much better example).

Being Stereotypical isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It makes the races easily processable and allows you to get into the storylines quicker.  A fantasy novel that uses elves, dwarves, and orcs is going to be much more easily accepted if it follows its High Fantasy predecessors like Tolkein’s Middle-Earth or Gary Gygax’s Greyhawk.  If you start a fantasy novel where elves are these huge savages that live in mountains, dwarves or tree loving hippies who are great with magic, and the common orc is an articulate orator, your reader is going to have to jump over the hurdles of you challenging their pre-existing world, or they will outright reject you.  Now if you have elves as the intelligent, but pragmatic tree loving race, orcs as the (possibly honorable) savages, and dwarves as imperialistic miners (there is no coincidence that the major races of High Fantasy have a lot akin to their science fiction counterparts, and even Warhammer 40k specifically designed their races as evolutions of their fantasy counterparts), the reader is going to feel right at home, and then you can start making changes.  It’s really the small touches you gave your world that gives the world its unique flavor.

A good change is something that is expected but rarely shown.  The Star Trek universe feels relatively peaceful when it comes to the major races, along with Mass Effect and many other shows and books much the same.  There might be incursions, there might be even some wars, but over all everything is so removed it is of minor impact to the universe.  The Babylon 5 universe is far from that.  It is fraught with war, and during the series one of the major races nearly commits genocide on another of the major races. In fact, a good deal of the show is about the constant struggle to keeping the races even on speaking terms, let alone peaceful with each other.

Something great about the show is that it was almost entirely written by J. Michael Straczynski.  Depending on where you read, he either wrote the majority of it all at once, or at the least had a clear idea of where things were going from the very beginning.  The show is a serial drama, in that very few episodes are not part of the overlying storyline, and much like Battlestar Galactica, missing a single episode might mean you no longer understand what’s going on with the show.  A serial drama, all written by one individual, means that there aren’t any random character or story line changes (or if there is, it was planned and you’ll see where the strings came from by the end).  This one flowing storyline is what made this show a gem to me.  In a sea of episodic sci-fi shows, this one stood out by following a single storyline.

It started out rough for me, though.  The first set of episodes feel episodic, and almost unrelated.  We’re introduced to a variety of characters, aliens, the creators concept of psychics, and these episodes seem to only be connected by the Babylon 5 space station.  In a way, its a great introduction to the world, if you can bare it.  Those episodes are not just random spatterings, but they all really set the stage for major future events.   Once you get beyond the seemingly inconsequential episodes, you get into an interesting storyline of prophecy, puppets, war between races, internal strife of the races, all occurring while an attempt is made to save the universe from total annihilation.

From this point on, I’m going to start spoiling the show.  And I’m going to start by spoiling the major plot line first.  So if you have any interest in watching this shows five full seasons, stop reading now.

The show’s overarching storyline is a war between two ancient races, the Vorlons and the Shadows.  The two races are, even visually depicted, as angels versus demons, and the two sides are vying for the galactic races to choose a side.  One represents order, the other represents chaos or corruption.  The Shadows have a great deal of influence corrupting both the human government as well as the Centauri race, while the Vorlons have a great deal more firepower, and have won over the Minbari, as well as the Babylon 5 station and their assets.  The war between the Shadows and the Vorlons plays out as so many other angel wars have in both biblical and fantasy novels: the angels attempt to save the races from corruption, and when that fails they move to purge the universe to start clean.  And as usual, those being purged all unite together, and gather epic weapons, in this case other ancient god-like races, and manage to beat back the two warring factions.

I skip over it as generic, because again, its the details that make it interesting.  We get to watch the characters grow throughout the show.  We understand the Narn and Centauri aggression, and we understand why Ambassador Mollari decides to take the shadows offer.  We see why he can’t back out, even when his Centauri Empire is getting ready to destroy the Narn homeworld.  G’kar, the Narn ambassador, after losing his homeworld, goes through his own change, including finding religion.  It’s all these personal touches to the characters that make this story interesting.

I also liked that the show didn’t just climax with the large war, and end there, but that it went into the aftermath.  The Vorlons and Shadows are dealt with, but they still had left corruption in two governments, and there were other races willing to try to take advantage of the whole situation.   No war is simply just won without fall out, and the show gets into that.  Unfortunately, it is all action after the climax, which makes it a little more boring, but the show does try to keep it up.  A Civil War is never as interesting as the entire universe being threatened.

Yet the problem I had with the finale is it focussed on the psi-core.  Its not how the story was told, although Garibaldi being brainwashed to randomly turn insane was kind of annoying, but something even more basic.  I don’t really like Telepaths in my science fiction, or at least not when its a genetic mutation.  Sometimes I’m willing to accept psychics if its a mechanical thing, or just an intra-race thing, but when its just walk into a room and know anything... that’s fantasy to me.  Beyond that though, its a power that is incredibly powerful, and in a way lessens what other characters actually are capable of. The large majority of the ending dealt with these psi-core, and thus psychics.  Now, the storyline itself was interesting.  The telepaths were created as weapons against the Shadows by the Vorlons, and given to every race.  But their power automatically makes them disliked by the majority of people.  Now we have three factions, telepaths who want to fit in, telepaths who believe they are Homo Superiorus and want to take over the human race, and telepaths who just want all the telepaths of all races to be given a homeworld so they can live alone.  This battle between them is definitely intriguing, and kept me interested in its own regard, but for the over-all plot I felt that there was enough in the world of science fiction that something else could have been used.  At least they dumped the “Techno-mages,” which while I’ve read some awesome books about, those were Sci-Fantasy.

The show had a few made for TV movies, and spin offs as well.  Two of the movies, Third Space (1998) and The River of Souls (1998) were movies that were completely disconnected from the plot line.  If the show had been episodic, it is possible these movies could have been fun... but the only connection they had was the characters that were used.  Third Space was referenced in the show, but unfortunately the movie itself countered some of the pre-existing knowledge of the universe (who the ancient and eldest races were).  It also helped explain their version of space travel (hyper-space).  The River of Souls expands the storyline of the “Soul Harvesters” and made them sound less like collecting souls, and more like collecting a person’s memories.  It also included Martin Sheen’s worst performance as an actor, ever.   The other movies were related to the show.  The Gathering started off the entire show, and I wish I had watched it first as it would have helped ease me into the show as compared to the seemingly random first episodes.  The rest of the TV Movies were much more interesting than the first two as they took directly from the main story, and just extended it.  They weren’t necessary to enjoy the show though, unlike The Gathering.  The Spin-offs were attempt to create an entirely new story arch.  Unfortunately, it focussed a lot on the Technomages, which is much more beyond fantasy than even telepaths.  The show had a good cast, a good introduction, and could have been fun, but it did not interest me.  Seeing as it didn’t even have a full season, it appears it didn’t catch on to well at all.

Overall I really liked the show.  It was awesome to watch a single continuous story be told, without a network or other writers getting in the way (*cough LOST cough*).  The writer was great at developing characters, and had a good sense of the communities of races.  While the show was very stereotypical in the over-arching story as well as the universe, it also really showed that its the journey that matters and not the destination.  If you love these space-council shows that focus as much on the drama and politics as it does action, and you don’t mind a mid-budget 90s show, this should be on your “must watch” list.  If you just really like science fiction, the show is 5 seasons long with multiple movies...it is a definite time investment, and as its not on Netflix or other streaming websites that I know of, it’ll be hard to acquire or a large financial investment .  You’ll enjoy it, you’ll be glad you watched it, you’ll miss the characters when they are gone, but it isn’t a must watch sci-fi show like Battlestar Galactica.  I’d even recommend it, and it if you live in my area, I’ll grab a bag of popcorn and watch some episodes alongside you... but you won’t be seeing me buy it, either.  It also, unfortunately, didn’t have any nerdy quotes that I feel the need to randomly blurt out just to check to see who in the room is awesome,, such as Battlestar Galactica’s “So Say We All,” Star Trek’s “Make it So,” Mass Effect’s “I will destroy you!” (I’m determined to make that a thing), or Serenity’s “Shiny.”   That’s not to say it doesn’t have some amazing quotes (For serious, “We are star stuff. We are the universe made manifest trying to figure itself out.” from Delenn, and more silly “Everyone around me dies, Mr. Morden, except those who most deserve it. “ from Mollari), but that not watching the show isn’t going to hurt your street-cred.  Enjoyable, fun, intriguing, a growing experience, but not a necessary watch.

Catching Fire

Catching Fire:

Catching Fire was an equally easy read as The Hunger Games, and just as fast.  It took me not even 2 days to read the entirety of Suzanne Collins’ second novel of this series.  Again, its a young adult book, so its super easy to read.  I also think it will translate to the big screen well in 2013 as it is mostly action.  The internal dialogue should also be easy for Jennifer Lawrence to display with her interactions with Peeta and Gale.

But it is also a book that feels rushed.  While Hunger Games had a quick pace, it had moments to breathe.  The tributes acclimating to the new world and training, Rue and Katniss planning on destroying the careers stash, Katniss and Peeta recovering in the cave, all of those were times to breathe.  Catching Fire starts off with the President threatening Katniss, and feels like we aren’t given a single moment to catch our breath.  Something new was being thrown into the mix constantly, and often times it was a large change itself.  The slowest time was probably when Katniss meets the two girls fleeing to District 13.  District 13!  That new bit of story is huge, and changes so many options, but then Katniss is immediately forced to try to sneak back into the city.  While this kept me on my seat for much of the book, it was also exhausting.  

The book was less enjoyable for me for one key reason: Katniss.  I really liked Katniss in the first book and movie.  A good reason is that the actress who portrays Katniss looks very similar to one of my best friends (who actually has an incredibly similar name).  Katniss, from the first book, and my friend, also had a lot in common.  The problem is in the second book, Katniss becomes very...confused to the point of whiny.  Now, perhaps this is done to relate to teens more; but, in the first book Katniss was able to phrase why she didn’t want things.  She was afraid of being involved with Peeta, because he’s the type that will probably want to get married and have children, and she doesn’t want that.  And she goes into why she doesn’t want that (oh yeah, power to the author for creating a strong female character that does not want to be bound by a man).  In the sequel though, we don’t get that.  All we get is her talking about how choosing between Gale and Peeta is hard, without any true thought beyond that Gale has been her hunting partner since she was young.  That’s the reason for and against Gale.  Now, its viewed as teenager logic...but its way too simple, and again, in the first book, Katniss was capable of much deeper thought.

With that, she was also a bit more coherent.  In the first one, she was definitely paranoid and in complete survival mode. I felt she should’ve been a little bit quicker on figuring out some of the stuff, but in her position I’m not sure if I would come to a different conclusion, specifically when it comes to Peeta’s “betrayal.”  But in the sequel, I felt like Katniss was a much less intelligent person.  Within weeks of her getting back, with a huge threat hanging over her head, she’s going out hunting knowing that its a crime that could get her killed?  I can think of very few, stupider, things she could do.  Without having knowledge where the story was going, I felt there were more than enough hints to figure out that multiple tributes were actually in on the rebellion.  Even without figuring that out, her reaction to Haymitch and the rest of the apparent rebel leaders was nothing more than petulant.  She is just a raving angry child, without thought, at that point.  I hope the finale has her return to a more mature state of mind.

I also find myself rooting against Gale.  I like Peeta.    Perhaps he reminds me of someone I used to be.  A relatively selfless person, who can see the big picture, and who is blindly in love with a person who won’t return those feelings.  I’m not necessarily rooting that Katniss winds up Peeta; in fact, I hope the book ends with Katniss being alone with her two good friends, Gale and Peeta.  I’m just rooting against Gale.  It’s not that I don’t like him, but I would hate to see Peeta do so much, suffer so much, for Katniss for her to decide to go with Gale. A lot depends on what happens in the next book, but Gale’s critical mistake with me was that he doesn’t want Katniss’ happiness.  When finding out about her engagement to Peeta, he is upset, and not happy for her.  He throws her gifts back at her when Katniss also wants to save Peeta’s life.  Meanwhile, Peeta is willing to sacrifice himself if it means Katniss will be happy.  If Katniss wants to be with Gale, Peeta is going to be jealous, upset, and hurt... but he’s also still going to be there for her, as we see in the training and in the games.  I would prefer the books to end with Katniss deciding to be single for now, but if she has to choose between the two, I want her to choose the man who wants her to be happy.

A thing I loved is the finding out that District 13 still exists, and that the Capitol has just blocked out any and all news related to it.  As mentioned in my write up of The Hunger Games, The Capitol didn’t seem that smart to me.  Knowing that they are using mass media to make the other 12 districts think the 13th district is completely gone, and that they have no true way to retaliate is actually quite intelligent, and very sinister.  Still, it would probably be a lot less effort, and a lot fewer resources, to just make the other 12 districts happy than it takes to keep them imprisoned and afraid.

Over-all, I still enjoyed the book.  While physically strong and capable, Katniss mentally regressed to a crying kid who doesn’t know herself near as well as she did in the first book.  I look forward to finishing the trilogy, and hopefully seeing her grow again.  I also am interested in the, while simple, plotline of the 12 districts fighting the overlord Capitol.  I would greatly enjoy if the book touched into the consequences of whatever choice is finally made, e.g. if District 13 ousts The Capitol, what happens to the people of the Capitol?  And what happens to the 12 districts intercommunity?  I have my doubts that the book will touch such a grand scope, but I can hope that the book grows in maturity along with the characters.

The Hunger Games

Hunger Games

Until recently, I haven’t been reading a lot.  So, starting off with easier reads has been way to get myself into the mood for heavier substances.  Hunger Games was an incredibly simple read, and I read it (and almost all of its sequel) in only 2 days.

While simple, this book was still a good read.  It told a good story and had plenty of emotion.  It also translated to the big screen very well.  If you saw the movie, you basically read the book with very few differences.  As there really isn’t any deep meaning to the book (corruptive government, people in power can’t really relate to the underclass, yadayada), I’m going to just ramble about comparing the movie to the book.

The book is all told from the perspective of Katniss.  Any scene in the movie where Katniss isn’t present is not in the book.  Yet still, the majority of these scenes were hinted at in the book.  Such as Haymitch’s attempts to reward Katniss for specific behavior, or the Gamemaster’s quick decision to let the two stay together and his execution after.  These added scenes to the movie weren’t a stray from the book, but simply a re-translation. The book was able to get those scenes across through the book through inner dialogue; but, having a V.O. explain something in a movie is not nearly as effective as just seeing the action of it.

There were some character differences that didn’t translate perfectly.  Mostly, that Katniss may be using the Peeta love story just to survive.  The movie had much more of a she might be in love feeling.  Throughout the book, Katniss pushes a lot more that everything is an act, and everything is more calculated, while the movie shows more of the emotion.  The movie removed a scene where it comes out that Katniss was kind of taking directions to get closer to Peeta just to get more awards.  I’m sure this will get more in the way of the next movie, and when I finish Catching Fire I’m sure I’ll get into this a lot more of the repercussions are seen in the following book.

Over-all, the emotions of the movie were higher.  But, specific scenes in the book almost brought tears to my eyes.  Peeta’s announcement of his love for Katniss was better done in the book.  I believe its simply because that scene just takes longer to get into.  You connect more with him during each sentence, and you are expecting him to say the next line.  Suspense builds, and then he says it and you are balled over.  The movie is able to do the lines quicker, so while it’s still emotional, it didn’t bring me to tears.  The same is similar to the death of Rue.  Reading simply makes it take longer, seeing her life go out of her eyes, and having Katniss sing the song.  While a movie can show you the emotions and actions better, a good writer can use sentences to make you feel like the character and bring you through the emotion.

The movie did not include that the wolf creatures were made up from the dead tributes.  Katniss’ realization of what they are is also emotional, and changes the context of the scene.  Although, to what end I don’t know.  It simply makes the completely already hated Gamemaster and Capitol be even more despicable; aka, not much.  I already hated them throughout the book, and the fact that they are releasing monsters makes me hate them...adding that they are the tributes doesn’t add much but more hate.  But does make it more emotional.

The major reason I read the book though, is because I wanted some questions answered.  Two specifically, one was an easy question and the other a bit more complex.  The easy question was answered no problem.  In the movie, they mentioned 13 districts, but I don’t ever recall them mentioning that the 13th district was destroyed.  Maybe they did, but even if they did it was quickly forgotten.  Throughout the movie, I believed the Capitol was the 13th district.  In the book, it was very clear that District 13 was destroyed.  That little bit of detail really filled in a lot of other information, specifically why they have the games.  Yes, it was explained in the movie, but the totality of destroying an entire district really pushes home that this isn’t just punishment, the games are there to destroy the spirits.  That the games exist to remind the other 12 districts that the Capitol can destroy any of them, completely, at any time.  The question of District 13 changes the text entirely, and I really wish it had been in the movie.

The other question, the more complicated one, was not answered for me.  The question is: why?  To everything, to the whole world.  I got that natural disasters destroyed every bit of the world we know, and that this is the society that rose up.  But, the technology still exists, and is in fact much superior to our own.  In the movie, it appeared they could just create creatures out of thin air...which from the book isn’t exactly true.  But, the book still has them using a device like the replicator from star trek to get food.  What the wolf creatures are, the dead tributes, actually almost makes it worse.  Why, in a world where they can create food out of nothing, create giant arenas for people to kill each other, throw fire balls out of trees, use dead organisms to create werewolf monsters, do they need miners?  Why do they need cherry pickers? Why do people need to be starving?  Why do they need human slaves when they can easily just create things to do the jobs for them.  All of this... why?

Maybe its because the book is just simple.  That its completely relying on the Corrupt people hoard their power, and while that’s true... why is the government filled with idiots then?  You know what would keep the districts in line better? Being indoctrinated.  As opposed to reminding them of the wars and conflict every year, make them feel like it was a choice to stay in their communities.  If they were fed well, they wouldn’t want to rise up.  To get the other districts in line would take so little, and so much less, than the effort they put to keep the districts in fear, as well as hating them.

It was a good book.  Quick, emotional, and had some nice little points.  But it was also simple, and once I’m done with the series, now that I’m finished with Fire and Ice, I feel like jumping into something more difficult.  Something much more poignant.  Something with layers to the context.  Where, after writing on it, and hopefully even having a discussion, after straining my brain, I feel like I’ve come upon some new insight about the world.  Please, give me some suggestions!

A Dance With Dragons

A Dance with Dragons

George R.R. Martin’s current last book to the Ice and Fire series is A Dance With Dragons.  The majority of this book takes place during the same time of the prior book, A Feast for Crows.  Eventually some characters from the last book make

After reading A Feast For Crows, I had a hard time even picking up A Dance With Dragons.  A Feast For Crows was long, repetitive, and mostly followed characters that annoyed me more than entertained.  I was pretty much ready to quit George R.R. Martin’s books, and say that the first book was a fluke and the rest were just a downward spiral.

A Dance With Dragons, for the most part, reversed that thinking.  The book follows more entertaining characters, there is more action, and it goes back to plots within plots within plots.  And while the other books had those plots, they didn’t feel guessable.  Such as, Tywin plotting the Red Wedding with the Frey’s and Bolton’s.  There was hintings the Frey’s were angry, but the expanse of it was never fully hinted.  Those type of plots within plots just feel like a child writing “oh yeah, well I’m actually secretly a double agent!”  And A Feast For Crows was just a bunch of idiocy all around where people were seeing plots where there weren’t any.

A Dance With Dragons gets back to getting to see those plots.  I’m going to start spoiling shit here, so if you haven’t read it, stop reading now.  Just because you think you read it, doesn’t mean you actually did! So, make sure you read it.  Done?  Alright...

Tyrion.  Yeah, his name alones means “Plots within Plots.”  While reading through him, we get to feel like we are unravelling plots, or creating new ones.  While finding out another Targaryen survived was kind of lame to me (until now there was never a doubt of that), his discovering that felt like a puzzle that needed to be solved.  Tyrion runs into a lot of bad luck this book, but still we see him constantly plotting, and we’re a part of it.  We get to see all the strings that need to be tugged to make the puppet dance.  We also see his character changing, to care more for others.  Its an interesting, and good change.  His treatment of Bronn (YAY! Bronn is back!) and Penny, while perhaps not the nice way to handle things, is definitely him watching out for them.

Daenarys is actually the most annoying character in the book.  This is because of my most frequent complaint about George R.R. Martin: Repetitive chapters.  For Daenarys, its constantly deciding how to bring peace to a shitty city, and forgetting about her dragons.  Now, when I complain about this... I’m not saying it should be just one chapter, and she makes a decision in that chapter.  Prolonging and showing what’s going on and how the Harpy’s are getting worse is important.  But there are quite a few chapters of this.  For Cersei in A Feast For Crows, it was nearly the entire book.  What made it worse was that there was no pay-off for Cersei’s story-line.  It doesn’t have an ending, but a “To be continued.”  The entire book had mainly one storyline, and he couldn’t even finish it!  But, A Dance With Dragons does complete its storyline.  So while there are a few too many chapters of Daenarys thinking “oh I want Daario, who is an absolutely scumbag, I want to do right by marrying an absolute scumbag all the while forgetting my beautiful dragons!”  But, she does get married.  And, the plots within plots that have been hinted at throughout the book, play through and we get to see new plots form.  The book completes its storyline with Daenarys, and adds a denouement that adds two more cliff hangers!  Each individual book should have its own storyline, and that storyline needs to be completed.  Feel free to end it with a prologue or whatnot that starts the next one.  He did that for this book, but not all of the prior.

It was interesting to see Theon’s role, I mean...Reek (it rhymes with bleak).  I almost felt sorry for Theon in a few moments, but what was great about it is that the entire time it is shoved into our face why we hated him.  Most of his story takes place in Winterfell, the place he helped dismantle and destroy.  So, while we get to hear about how horrible his constant torture is from the Bolton’s, we also get the constant reminder that HE FUCKING DESERVES IT.  Only when he takes an action to help another is it finally okay to possibly forgive him.  But the entire Winterfell story ended in confusion for me.  Why did Ramsay write the letter to Jon Snow, and not Roose?  Because of that, I’m having a hard time believing that Stannis is actually defeated.  Also, what happened to The Onion Knight and his deal with the city (Lord Manderly)?  The fact that we don’t see what has happened makes me openly question what did happen.

And of course, there is Jon Snow.  The entire book we knew that Cersei had a plot to overthrow him.  We constantly see him make the right decision, but the decision no-one, on either side, fully enjoys.  Melisandre also keeps prophesizing his end, and for the first time I want someone to actually believe her.  Every chapter I read was “Oh God, is this the chapter it’s going to happen?”  And of course, it was the final chapter.  And unfortunately, George R.R. Martin is not reliable with his killings, so I’m not even sure if he’s dead.  The problem though is...Jon Snow is a good guy.  So he most likely is dead.  Likable characters don’t live and come back as undead...they stay dead.  Still, I hope with Wunwun, or Melisandre and the Queen’s men, were able to save him.  Still, I enjoyed Jon’s story of the man who is doing the right thing, but that no-one likes.  The man compromising for both sides.

And of course...the secret murder.  I had a constant question of where the Spider was.  He was mentioned from time to time in this book, always making me ask “where did he go?”  And then he shows up...and all of a sudden I forgive a lot.  Through the books, its mentioned repeatedly that he was one of Targaryen’s advisers.  It’s mentioned over and over that it was odd he was kept on under Robert Baratheon.  While Bronn was his spy, it was also Bronn that protected Daenarys.  This idea that the Spider has been sowing discord through all the books resonates as not only possible, but something that was probably obvious.   I am able to forgive Cersei surviving just because I know she’s been put there to destroy the Lannisters rule.  This move was genius.  This chapter alone restored most of my faith in the writing.

To sum it up...this book resurrected my interest in the series.  I was basically ready to call Martin a hack.  Now, there’s still some things that upset me about his writing, and I’m still not convinced everything is planned out... but this was a move in the right direction.  This book had multiple complete, and gripping stories, throughout, that each had a complete ending, and then added a little more to whet my appetite for the next book.  Yes, I am again looking forward to the next book, and I do not see how he’s going to to wind everything together in one book, especially considering his previous meandering books.

A Feast For Crows review

A Feast for Crows

Somehow I managed to force myself to finished George R.R. Martin’s fourth book of the Fire and Ice Series, “A Feast for Crows.”  As always, spoilers.
Wow was this book hard to read.  The book should have been called “Cersei and Misogyny” or something. The book’s second chapter gets right into how women aren’t good for anything but reproduction.  Now, it does show how crazy religious fanatics are, and would be great if the book started that way and all the women (and the majority of the characters in this book are female) proved to be amazingly strong individuals and accomplished anything in the book.
But they don’t.  Cersei is beyond crazy the entire book; due to the dramatic irony, Brienne just appears like an idiot through her search for Sansa; Neither Sansa nor Arya are in this book much, and neither really accomplish anything either; Ginny, with Sam, cries the whole book; the Sand Snakes do basically nothing as well.  Asha Greyjoy is really the only character who could’ve been a strong female character, and after the King’s Moot, she just vanished.
Cersei was the most prominent character in the book.  Cersei had the most chapters of any character, which were showing us first hand how crazy she was. Jaime had the next most chapters, and most of Jaime’s chapters were an outside perspective just further proving Cersei was insane.   This wouldn’t necessarily be horrible if something actually ever occurred.  The only significant thing Cersei does during her chapters is set up the church to have their own army.  Meanwhile, in the background of all this, we’re hearing about the Saltpans, or about the Lightning Lord, or people being sent to murder Bronn and Jon Snow.  We hear that epic things are happening in the world, and all we get to see is Cersei run around screaming about how everyone is a moron and wants to kill her and her son, and no-one actually doing anything like that.
Part of the reason Cersei appears so crazy is because we only get her perspective, and her thinking is madness.  She is completely paranoid while also extremely power-hungry.  There are chapters where she talks about everything as if she has no other concern than to protect her son, Tommen, from the evils around, yet all the evils she sees are completely fabricated.  Juxtaposed to that, there are chapters where the only thing she desires is power.  To be the true ruler, and be remembered as the greatest ruler there was, with almost no mention of Tommen.  When Tommen is mentioned in the power-hungry chapters, he is painted like another imaginary dragon she must vanquish to keep her power.  This back and forth is inconsistent, and not only makes Cersei appear as crazy, but possibly makes Martin appear like a bad writer.

Now, George R.R. Martin broke the book up on purpose based on location and other things.  The problem with this is we don’t get to see if Tyrion or other characters are actually just toying with Cersei.  Since it doesn’t appear that its Littlefinger torturing her, and we don’t see Tyrion or any other character, Cersei comes off as completely insane.  It’s very possible she is just insane, but it is also possible that Tyrion is toying with her.  That Tyrion did leave that coin just to drive her mad.  That someone is whispering in Margaery’s ear, and she is trying to over throw Cersei.  But we don’t see any of that, and since we don’t see it, we have to assume its not happening... and thus, that Cersei is imaging it all.

Now, it was nice to see all her plans collapse because she made hasty decisions...but this doesn’t really help women.    Being the most prominent character, and strongest woman, the only thing she accomplished was to destroy herself.  A great message to women everywhere.  “You are insane, and without a man, you’ll destroy yourself.”  She does scream for Jaime in the end, and as much as she thinks she can rule again, if she had taken Jaime’s advice at any point of the book, she would have been much more sane, and much more bearable as a character.

But perhaps her character isn’t done with.   It’s very possible she returns in the 6th book and somehow isn’t sentenced to death.  George R.R. Martin is quite capable of doing that.  I hope not. I hope I never have to read another chapter involving Cersei.

So what other characters do we have?  Brienne...another character who just might be dead, but we don’t know.  For the good of this book, both Sansa and Arya really should’ve have not appeared.  Through this book, we know exactly where Sansa and Arya are, and we know Brienne is hunting for them.  We are forced to listen to Brienne throw out, without a second thought, the idea of going to the Eyrie or cross the sea.  Since we know exactly where they are, listening to Brienne throw these ideas out just makes her appear like a fool.  Does she have a good reason not to go there?  Perhaps I’m bias from the dramatic irony, but her reasoning for not going to the Eyrie just seemed wrong.  It is still perfectly reasonable that Sansa got to the Eyrie before Tully got killed, and that Sansa is still there.  Instead, Brienne chases ghosts that are obvious traps, before we even get there. Traps that made me feel like I was watching a horror movie and was watching the blonde try to get away from the monster, and just screaming at the book "No! Don't go into the creepy haunted ruins!"
And what the hell was wrong with Catelynn Stark?  I mean, I already hated that character when she was alive, but now she’s even more heartless and less rational?  Great. Well, at least Catelynn is consistent.
I wish I could talk more about Sansa and Arya.  I actually started to like Sansa, because she finally appeared like she could become a strong character.  She’s the stone for King Robert, and she is able to notice all the same strings that Littlefingers is.  She’s finally intelligent, compassionate, and we see that she’s actually struggling with reality.  But, she’s just not in the book enough.  At least her end is pleasing; that she might finally get the throne. It is unlikely that this plan will ever be witnessed, but it is nice to finally think that at least one of the Starks might have a happy ending.
Arya’s story is interesting, but entirely incomplete.  It is intriguing to see the training The Faceless go through to become The Faceless.  I want to see her walk down that road, but she was barely in the book, and was only on the first steps of her progression.  The book ends with her blind, a cliffhanger that has me stunned...and upset.  Martin  had an entire book to go through with Arya, but instead we get a constant stream of unnecessary details about Cersei’s madness, but an incomplete story on Arya.  We’re forced to endure maddening invisible plotlines that never come true through Cersei’s perspective, but we don’t have enough time to actually get the story of a character that people want to read about?
The sand people’s plot line was uninteresting to me, and slightly confusing.  I’m not quite sure what happened to Myrcella or the Black Star or anything like that.  All I know is it ends that prince Doran does actually want revenge, and is an evil conniving bastard. The only thing that makes the entire Sand peoples storyline interesting is that it ends with us knowing that there are actually people who want to see the Targaryens back in power.  Seriously, all of those chapters, the big reveal is that someone not even in the book might one day possibly do something.  This could have been established a lot quicker, and without wasting so much of my time.  Still, I’m glad these chapters existed simply because they weren’t Cersei.
Than there are the Greyjoys.  First chapter starts off with Damphair being extremely misogynistic, and the chapters only get worse on that regard.  Not too surprising considering their entire view on life, and that Theon came from them.  Again, these chapters, which changed the main character each time, amounted to almost nothing happening.  The Ironmen king some crazy man who wants to sail across the sea and steal Dany’s dragons.  This actually sounds like it might get to be fun... but oh wait, next chapter, The Ironmen basically decide not to go across the sea and they just want to kill.  So, a possibly awesome story is cut short, and now the Ironmen aren’t doing anything.
I’d really of loved to see what Asha Greyjoy would’ve done.  She was a promising character.  She was strong, she was smart, she was ruthless when she needed to be, and she didn’t take anyones shit.  She could have been a strong female lead.  She could’ve been more interesting than Arya, while stronger and more driven than Cersei, and with half the crazy.  Unlike the sand people, she could have also been able to do something.  Instead, she gets the Kings Moot, promises not what the Ironmen want to hear, and basically vanishes.  Martin finally had a chance of making an actually cool female character...and instead he decided sexism would be cooler.
Sam’s storyline was...well it was definitely in the book.  Supposedly the book was separated by the geography of the characters, and I’m not sure why Sam was in this one as he spent very little time on Westeros.  Only reason I can think of is it because the dramatic irony will make Jon’s storyline on the wall more interesting.  Possibly, but Martin already failed at using dramatic irony once, and it sounds like Jon’s storyline is going to be plenty interesting with him being the Commander, having to deal with Stannis, having to deal with multiple of his men wanting him dead, and having to deal with assassin’s being sent after him... but still, it could add more.  


So, overall...I didn’t like the A Feast For Crows. Too much of it followed Cersei, and no-where enough time on Sansa nor Arya.  The book ended with too little being accomplished through it, and the things that were accomplished are questionable as Martin is known for bringing dead people back to life.  The only major benefit was that it made the next book just seem epic.  The Saltpans, the assassination attempt against Bronn, the assassination attempt against Jon Snow, Dany and her dragons and potential suitors to help her claim the throne, and where the hell is Tyrion!? All of these things should prove to be quite entertaining, and A Feast For Crows was really just a build up for that.  
Some might think thats good writing...have you wanting more.  The problem is this book was frustrating.  Yeah, it’s going to get me to read the next, but if the next starts out disappointing, I’m going to drop it before I finish it, and that’s not good.  If I don’t finish it, I definitely won’t read the following.  As may have been obvious since my write up of Book 2 and 3, my confidence in George R.R. Martin’s writing skills is waning.  Perhaps this is all planned out, and I’m sure much of what I rolled my eyes at will come to a great fruition (e.g. Prince Doran).  The thing is though, Martin appears to be the type of writer that really enjoys writing and letting the story wander as he writes.  Personally, I’m not into that style of writing.  For me, Stephen King’s best writing was The Stand, which he had planned what was going to happen before he started writing.  The Dark Tower was written in the “lets just see where the story takes me” way, and personally much of those books annoy me.  It’s still a great series, but its a great series that could’ve been massively edited and still said the same thing.  A Feast For Crows could have easily been edited down, and that gives me fear that Martin doesn’t know where he’s taking these characters.  I wonder if Arya and Sansa weren’t in this book simply because he didn’t know where they are going in the series?
Well, hopefully A Dance With Dragons is much more entertaining, so that I can stand reading the (perhaps, maybe, supposedly) conclusion in his next. I'd also love to be wrong, and have him really know where he's taking the characters.

Scrubs

I may be a few years late on this...but I finally finished watching Scrubs.  I've never had the patience to sit down and watch a TV show while its airing.  Having to wait a week or so every week to watch a show just isn't something I'm into.  Luckily, Netflix exists and I was able to marathon my way through the 8 true seasons.  I have not yet watched the 9th season, "Scrubs: Interns." I may one day, but after the finale of the first 8, I couldn't jump into more.  I had to take time to process.  The following will contain SPOILERS.

In its truest form, Scrubs was a show about friendship.  It did this better than almost any other show I've watched before.  Yeah, even that show called "Friends" wasn't as much about friendships as Scrubs was.  Nearly every episode of Scrubs was about various relationships and their difficulties.  And it explored a wide variety of these.  Best friends, friends with benefits, trying to be the friend of your lovers friend, trying to be friends with your boss, trying to be friends with someone you respect, friendship because of a common enemy, friendship with your enemies, and so many more.   And after 8 seasons, we got to see a lot of the situations change.  We got to see JD fawn after Elliott, break her heart, have her seek him out, watching both of them almost get married to other people, and then come back together.  We got to see many of the characters change, and how they dealt with the various problems that come from that.

And the show was willing to experience everything.  Like a good friendship, the large majority of was silly and fun... but it didn't hide from heart breaking incidences.  Break ups, job changes, losing friends, and the most heart breaking being death.  The episode of Brendan Fraser dying, and Dr. Cox's reaction, brought me to tears. As did the final episode.  The show experienced a wide variety of emotions, and then dealt with the consequences of that.  Someone didn't die, and the next episode continued like nothing happened (well, except some of the episodes that were out of place in filming...), but the characters had to deal with their pain and grew.

Now, at times, the problems got repetitive.  With 8 seasons, it was bound to happen that many of the jokes got repeated.  Yes, we get it...JD is white, and Turk is black.  We get that a friendship with your ex can be difficult.  And at times, the rehashing of some of these plot tools got annoying.  Speaking from experience, its really not that hard to be friends with your ex!  Still, it often tried to throw new twists.

The show was much like a friendship.  I grew attached to it, and the characters.  Yeah, there was a down part where the show, much like a long time friend, grated me the wrong way (*cough* Season 4 and 5 *cough*).  But like a true friendship, it was worth getting through the hard times and sticking with your friends.

The last episode, the finale, was perhaps the most moving ending to a show I've seen (The Wonder Years being the only competitor).  It fit in with the rest of the show, it kept the themes, and it broke my heart.  A friend told me that the finale was one of the first episodes she actually watched, and it broke her heart.  The finale encompassed the entire show.  And the montage at the end is the second time I cried during the show.  The dream of the future, something I've experienced every time a big change in my life is about to occur.  Imaging your future with all your friends, and just hoping it all will be good.  You know things are about to get hard, and yet you force yourself to be optimistic.  You dream of your next big gathering, like a holiday party, and that you are all happy together.  You have to be happy for whats about to change, because the idea of losing those you love would crush you because you've overcome all your past problems with them helping you through it.  The show ends, a change in life, but ends with the dream that things will all work out, and that the friends who have been through it all will manage to over come even this difficulty.