2015, a Year in Review

For this to be fair, I honestly should have done a mid year change. 2015 had a huge change for me, and how my year was.

2014 ended horribly for me. The stress of work nearly crushed me, I was temporarily homeless due to move in / move out dates not lining up, I personally received negative medical updates, there was family drama, and so much more. 2015 started in the middle of all that still going on. To survive, I kind of went numb for a bit there. Luckily, alcohol is a readily available anesthetic.

But there was good that came from those low points. I remember a moment where I was talking to a friend who was making a big life change, and me saying “I’d rather be broke doing what I love than rich and hating my job.” I said it, I meant it, but I was doing the opposite. I kept trying to make working at Enterprise be a good thing for me by focusing on the money I was earning. But it was making me miserable. That conversation, along with many others, made me realize that as long as I was working for Enterprise, I was not going to be happy.

I was trying to do other things to cover up the void that work left. Reading the past few years of resolutions / reviews, I kept wanting a pet in hopes that it would make me happy. I filled my life with so many activities that I was constantly stressed about not ever having time for myself. I’ve been writing my comic book for awhile, and while it pleased me, it wasn’t enough. Writing D&D adventures for my group was fun as well. So writing was helping.

I restarted an old writing project. It was supposed to be a graphic novel, but that path wasn’t panning out for me. So I decided to write it as a novel. This was making me happy; but, it was draining. It’s a very emotional story, and I was finding it very hard for me to go from getting abused all day at work to writing an emotionally exhaustive story. I wanted to write, but just found myself incapable of doing it after work.

So I quit. With no real plan or stability, I quit my job. I decided it was time for me to be a starving artist. I took two months off and the first time in a very long time, I had an enjoyable summer. I sun bathed, I floated down rivers, I went out running, I saw my friends frequently, and I wrote. I wrote a lot. Tons of writing. Like, I finished my novel tons of writing.

I did get another job, this time with UPS. It’s a part time job that’ll pay my rent and bills but not enough for food or entertainment. I had money saved up from all my years with Enterprise. A part time job still gives me plenty of time to focus on my writing, and having it be a physical job means I won’t atrophy. It’s a job that makes me happy simply because it’s a guarantee work out for 20-30 hours a week.

December was a hard month, but more because my hours doubled. It wasn’t like when I worked with Enterprise where everything got stressful and I was getting screamed at on a daily basis where I just curled into a ball of wanted to die. In this job,  I wanted to see my friends, I wanted to be around people, I just wanted to sleep more. I was exhausted. Twelve hour shifts do that to a person.

I generally also review my year based on my resolutions for the year. I only had 4 resolutions last year, Have a vacation about me, enjoy halloween more, get a dog, find a way to enjoy my job. Taking two months off is definitely a vacation about myself, I did a bunch of costumes and spent the entire month making a Nightmare Before Christmas group costume, and I found a way to enjoy my job...I quit it. I didn’t get a dog, but as discussed earlier, that was me trying to put a carpet over a broken floor. It wasn’t fixing the problem, but trying to cover it up. So, I’d say my resolutions were pretty solidly made.

All in all, 2015 was an amazing year. There was plenty left out that made it good, such as attending one of my good friends weddings on the east coast, my brother’s wedding to his amazing wife, me meeting a wonderful woman in September, being recognized as employee of the month through my new job and getting a raise within just 3 months of being there, and my mom finally getting disability paychecks after fighting for them for well over a year. From the ashes of 2014 rose a great year for me, 2015.

So what are my resolutions for 2016?

First and foremost, I want to find an agent. I’ve had multiple friends read and review my novel, and all have given me outstanding feedback. With some minor fixes, I have been convinced that my manuscript is worth trying to sell. To do that though, I need an agent. I’ve never done this before, so I can’t assume a timeline, but my goal is to have found at least an agent by the time 2017 rolls around.

With that, I want to make sure I still focus on seriously writing. Dungeons and Dragons adventures might entertain me and my muse, and I’ll surely continue running my group, but I want to either finish one of my ongoing projects, or start a new one. I’d like to have more examples of my writing that I would consider worthy of publication. The entire reason I chose a part time job as opposed to another full time position is so I’d have the energy and time to focus on my writing, so this year I will take full advantage of that.

When I started my job at UPS, it was frequently physically exhausting me. I stopped running. Once I was used to the job, December was beginning and it again raised the bar. Now that the hours are reduced, I need to get back to working out. My body is good, but I’d like to get it stronger, specifically running. I’m a little worried that upper body workouts might hurt my shoulder, which would put me out of work for a bit… but it’d be nice to get back to running.

And last resolution… again focus on making sure I do something I enjoy. Whether that be focussing on my love for Halloween again, or taking time off for a road trip with a friend, or something. I want to make sure I do something for myself.

My only major concern for 2016 is money. I’m now making less than half of what I did the years before. This will need to be factored into how I proceed. I’m good with my money though, and I should be able to make it work. And hey, who knows, 2016 might be the year I finally get published and my writing starts bringing in some money!

So I start 2016 hopeful that it’ll be a great year, and feeling like I have a lot of options ahead of me.